I Thought The Power Went Out

I'm with Jared right now. He closed his eyes. I snapped my fingers in front of him and told him to wake up. He responded with, " I thought the power went out."

White Trash

Last night Jared was talking about wanting to go to Suffolk Downs today, a horse racing track out side of Boston. He asked about the general demographic of the people who usually attended the races. Murph told him that it was in East Boston so it would probably be white trash. Jared,being the genious that he is, said, "So, Mexicans?"

Now What?

Today is "Download Day" for Firefox 3. Doing my part, I told a few of my friends to go download it. Jared, being the genius he is, gives me this response:


I don't think anymore needs to be said.

New Remote or Old?

My dad's showing off his new LCD tv to me. During it, I notice the remote control he's using looks shinier. So I ask him, "Is that remote new or old?" He said it was the same remote that we've had. I told him that I was asking because he looked shinier. He responded by telling me that it's because it's a new remote. Wasn't that what I asked? Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that new and old aren't synonyms.

No Perfect Scores Yet

I was at trivia this evening. The scoring system works like this: If you get a question right, you get points. If you don't get a question right, you don't get points. Two questions into the night, Trivia-guy Fred said, "No one has a perfect score so far..." Thanks, Fred! Maybe if I work really hard on the next two questions, I can work my way out of this whole and get up to a perfect score!

Score As Much As Possible

More stupid hockey announcers. I was watching the Detroit/Pittsburgh game tonight. It went into overtime. During the start of the third overtime, the announcers for CBC said, "It would be a good idea for both teams to score as much as they can early in the period."


Um...seriously? Sudden-death overtime? If someone needs more explanation, you're a moron.

Catch-up Time

So I know I haven't posted in awhile, but I think I have a couple updates for tonight.



To start, I'm at work tonight. To fully understand, a diagram of my work area.



So the brown is my desk, the red dot is me. I'm facing up. The black is a wall, the shaded in area is just irrelevant. The blue section on the left side is a television screen (technically, it's a projection TV that's projected onto that wall, but whatever). So I'm sitting around "working" on my computer. Somebody walks up form the far left and asks, "Are you watching this TV?" Unless I'm leaning over the left side of the desk, there is no possible way I could be watching the TV. Way to think that one through.



I was down in Washington, D.C. a couple weekends ago. Walking around the city, I saw the following sign:



Oooooooh, so I can't run red lights at this intersection? Now that understands why everyone honked at me when I did. Seriously, what intersections allow you to run red lights? Keep in mind, this isn't a "No Turn On Red" sign; that would make sense. This sign explicitly forbids running red lights. Nice job, D.C. I'm sure that sign prevents many deaths by reminding people that it's illegal to run red lights.

Bad Math

We were sitting around, playing some cards while Jared was rehashing his other night out at a bar. He was stoked that he bought 4 Brubakers (cheap beer) at once so he could save one trip (really? wouldn't that be three trips?). He also bragged that it only cost $11. I pointed out that the beers cost $2.50 each (which they used to cost, apparently they now cost $2.75). He responds with "No, less!" Really? He couldn't do that math fast enough to figure out that 2 beers at 2.50 would be $5, so 4 would be $10, meaning they cost more than my initial $2.50 estimation. WTG, Jared.

Weekend Update

So after a busy weekend, I need to update with some short stories of stupidity from the weekend.



"We're sitting in row 'GA'."

~My girlfriend said this, looking at her admission ticket to my graduation. Seriously, row GA? She's been in the music business and didn't know that "GA" meant General Admission.



"Hockey isn't like football."

~An announcer on Versus covering the NHL playoffs. Really? Never knew that hockey and football were different. Guess that's going to make it harder for Alex Ovechkin to make his transition.



"Montreal is leading in every category we choose to show you."

~Again, Versus announcers. Well if you want to pick and choose, I'm sure you can make stats look like anything you want.

Who's going to win tonight?

Alright, I was walking on campus to go get my cap & gown for graduation on Friday. I'm wearing my Philadelphia Flyers jersey because it's hockey playoff season and because the Flyers have a game tonight. I'm walking down the foot-bridge when some random business guy on a cell phone starts saying, "Habs or Flyers? Who's going to win tonight, Habs or Flyers? C'mon."
Seriously? I'm wearing a jersey of one of the two teams, does he really think I'm going to pick the Canadiens if I'm wearing a Flyers jersey? And yes, I know rooting for a team to win and thinking they're going to win are different, but this is the playoffs. You pick your team to win no matter what.
I pointed this out to him of course, told him I'm obviously rooting for Philly.

Game time in just under 2 hours. Sweeeet.

"If I had to wait seven years for my chance to go out and win it all, win the Stanley Cup, then I'm willing to wait seven years. That's my goal, to win the Stanley Cup." - Martin Biron

Did the wolf mean to eat the bird? (Flashback)

So most of my posts should be current stories of stupidity, but because I had just started this today, I figure I'll start with a flashback story.


A group of us were hanging out, having some beers, some of us (Jared) more than others (everyone else), and watching some TV. This was probably during football season, but I'm not entirely sure. Anyway, the following commercial comes on TV:



This is where Jared comes up with a purely brilliant question: "Do you think that the wolf meant to eat the bird?"

Sadly, this was a serious question.

My friend Matt has the beautiful response of, "Did you seriously just ask if the CGI wolf ate the bird on purpose??" At this point, Jared realized his stupidity and we all laughed.

Sadly, I have since reviewed the commercial. Upon review, you can see that the wolf had a clear, eating-motion before the bird entered his mouth, proving that it was not an accident.